The day I learned to waterski.....

It was another gorgeous, sunny, breezy, perfect day so of course I was spending it they way any local would - relaxing and enjoying the beautiful paradise we all know and love- Hawaii. So I decided I would learn to water-ski - how brave of me. I wasn't too hard, after a few tries I was a seasoned pro, see there's even proof:

Ha ha, who I am kidding, that is so not me - my legs are not that long! Those who know and love me best are probably dying right now as they are a 100% certain that I lack the courage and coordination gumption to even attempt such an activity. In my heart of hearts, I know (and so do my dear friends and family), that if I even attempted such a task this would be the result:

And that my friends is a truth-fact.

Regardless, a few weeks ago, I still learned to water-ski, only without water and skis and I was in my backyard. I'm pretty sure when if I ever attempt to actually water-ski that as a result of my expert lessons, I will have more of an advantage. Let me explain.

Remember this dog?
Well, it turns out her name is Layla and the body that is attached to that dog-head is ginormous!! She seriously has probably 50 pounds on me. While that may look like a little hole that her head is peering through, the lovely Layla somehow managed to squeeze herself through and into our backyard -she came charging out of that hole like a bull! I lept out of my chair and she slammed her whole body into me. I was desperately trying to keep her away from Denali since I didn't know how either of them would react and the last thing I wanted on my hands was a dog-fight. I grabbed Layla's collar with both hands and proceeded to be drug throughout my entire yard (which is half-grass and half top-soil). I look down and dirt is flying around me just like water would if I was water-skiing. My flip flops were gone, my hair was no longer in a ponytail and this dog is flinging me around like it is nothing. I am screaming "Layla, no!" in my biggest bully voice but it is not working. Denali is just hanging out in the corner like nothing is happening. Finally her owner comes outside and takes the dog back to her rightful home. I go inside and see that I am completely covered in mud and there are sweat streaks running down the mud-trails on my face. There is mud covering both my legs that managed to go up my shorts.... I was literally a hot mess. What a way to meet the neighbors!
This happened a few weeks ago and I never posted about it cause frankly, I forgot, until last night when we had a similar repeat incident. We (Joe, our neighbor, Denali and I) were hanging out on our back porch when all of the sudden you-know-who pops under the fence - fortunately Joe took care of restraining Layla and our neighbor rushed Denali inside. My job: get Joe a leash, so he could walk to dog back over to the neighbors. I sincerely failed in my mission when I managed to hit Joe in the head with the metal clip-part of the leash when I flung it to him.... go me. You can just call me Grace.


Photos from here and here.